The big WHY behind giving - Why is it so hard to find the perfect gift?
Photo by Riz Mooney
There were many times in my life where I doubted myself when choosing a gift for my loved ones - my partner, family, or best friends. Now, you might be thinking that you are on the same boat. Why is it so hard to find the perfect gift? There are multiple occasions throughout the year, Birthdays, Mother/Father’s Day, Christmas, your friend’s bridal shower, baby shower, you name it. The pressure of getting someone ‘something nice’ can occasionally be frustrating. A gifting habit is wonderful, but really, have you ever ask yourself why you want to give to someone?
From my past experiences, I had been struggling to choose presents for my circle of friends and recently I found out the reason why. Instead of focusing on my intention ‘to give’, my head was stuck with a million what-ifs scenarios, such as whether they would like it, find it useful, or simply if they would love the colour that I picked. Consequently, I did not quite enjoy the process of buying gifts for others and I’d rather come up with lame excuses such as ‘it is not worth my energy’ or ‘it was very time consuming’. However, as I started to switch my mindset to see gifting from the ‘why’ instead of the ‘what’, now I feel less stressed and trapped when choosing presents. Here is a couple of the things that have helped me shape my way of thinking:
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez
Being aware that giving is an expression of your love and care
It may sound obvious that you give because you love or care about somebody. However, I would not deny that there were a few times that I went with the flow and give because ‘I had to’ instead of ‘I wanted to’. Therefore, it became an obligation rather than an expression of my feeling. The problem with this is when something is considered as an obligation, then you will most likely find it dreary and tiresome when doing it. In contrary, when you’re aware that you give because you want to show your love, care, or simply to share a happy moment in their life, often times you will be excited to find a gift for that person. It is your good intention to give that counts and that what matters. Once, I read a book by Gary Chapman that mentions giving as one of the 5 love languages. He said that gift giving is a way where people can show and/or receive affection from others and I absolutely agree with it.
Photo by Giorgio Trovato
Viewing it as a practice to be grateful
This second point might get you to think, “Why would I be the one who feel grateful when I am the one who has to sacrifice something?” I understand that as a giver, you have to let go of something, perhaps your money, time, effort, or your favourite things. Nonetheless, this also means you still have ‘something’, whatever it is you sacrifice, to share with others. This should lead to an attitude of thanks-giving, that we still have job, savings, freedom to choose how to spend our time, internet or energy to go shopping and buy a gift. Now see, you can list 10 more things you are grateful for just by a simple act of giving. It is true that to give is also to receive as being thankful is one of the doors to bring happiness and enjoyment into your life.
Photo by Danielle Macinnes
I am not saying that I am now a perfect gift-giver, but by changing my perspective to see an act of giving with the aforementioned perspectives, that was when I started to enjoy buying and crafting gifts for people around me. The substantial message is to see every opportunity to give as a way to express your own feelings rather than as an obligation to please the receiver. Moreover, you should see it as a tool to practice how to be grateful with little things you have in life. Although I am not suggesting that you can start giving crappy gifts as long as the motive is right, when we have an honest intention, then I believe that you will prepare a wonderful gift that comes from your heart. As what comes from a genuine heart is always the best gift.
Now start checking your calendar and practice the act of giving!
